I need help removing her.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
