I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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