oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
