I heard we made out
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
organizing the empties. That sober.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
