my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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