Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
time to smoke my breakfast
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
