im drinking this country out of the recession.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
