so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
