Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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