I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize