He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
