Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
