New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
