so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize