i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
