Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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