she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
