My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
