how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
