Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
