this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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