My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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