i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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