end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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