Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize