Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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