before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
