He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
