I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
