It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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