Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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