It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize