i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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