In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
