Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
