I want to make a zoo with you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
