I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
