watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
