He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
