Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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