If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
