butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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