What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
