i would punch a child for taco bell
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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