its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
did you just send me my own nude
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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