How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
