so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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