i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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