I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
