ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
