hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
