I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
