dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
