Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
