we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
